The 19th of November 2018 marks 5 years since Jake asked me to be his girlfriend. I can’t believe it’s been half a decade, it’s flown by and I can honestly say I couldn’t be happier. I couldn’t ask for someone more supportive, dedicated and wonderful – especially after the 2 years I have had. He’s been through my side through it all and I couldn’t be more grateful. Anyway, enough soppiness (sort of). Here are a few things that have stuck with me and I find prevalent in a healthy relationship.
It’s the absolute best feeling to be super in love and want to spend lots of time with your partner but it’s incredibly important to have your own life outside of the relationship. I think having your own friends, your own hobbies, your own things to work on and time to yourself is an essential part of knowing who you are and owning your own happiness.
I like to think no one gets in a relationship expecting it to end but no matter how perfect your relationship may seem at any time, being realistic, there’s always a possibility that it will end for a multitude of reasons. For this reason and many others, it’s important for your relationship to stay as a strong partnership of two independent people rather than a blur of codependency,
I mean I say everything, probably not a good idea to tell them you hate their new hair cut or that their signature spag bol dish tastes like dog food to you. However, there’s no room for lies or secrets in a mature and well-working relationship. You shouldn’t feel scared to express your opinions and issues to your partner and if you are, that’s just another thing you probably need to talk about. They’re the one person in the world you should be able to come to with everything.
They say every cloud has a silver lining, find it and make a joke out of the situation. Jake and I have been through some unbelievable crap individually and as a couple and somehow every single time we manage to just laugh our way through it. If we hadn’t have, I’m not sure what would’ve happened. No relationships are perfect and of course we’ve had arguments but a lot of the time, we laugh our way out of those, too. Of course a lot of the time you do have to deal with things seriously but that doesn’t mean you can’t make light of a situation. Laughter is the best medicine, as they say.
I can’t even begin to explain just how different Jake and I were when we first got together. We liked completely opposite genres of music (we met in a music class and music is one of both of our biggest passions so this was a BIG deal), had completely different interests, there’s no way we could’ve brought our friends together as it would’ve been the most awkward experience ever.
We’ve both changed a hell of a lot over the 5 years we’ve been together and I’d definitely say it was for the better. We’ve taught each other a lot about our interests and hobbies, our fears, personal issues and how each other thinks. It’s helped us both to be so much more open minded and as I said in the title, as a result of this we’ve gained so much knowledge from each other. Even if it isn’t your cup of tea, it’s important to show your partner that you support them.
Keeping relationships working well involves compromise. Ideally not too much of it as you don’t want to feel like you’re giving up a lot to be in it. Situations will occur where one of you will have to reschedule something or change something to help or be there for the other. If one person feels like the relationship is one-sided and they’re the only one compromising, then they’re going to get pretty fed up. It’s important to keep a good balance and for both people to feel equal and like the other cares and puts as much effort in as much as they do.
What do you think the most important things are in a healthy relationship?