A Body Confidence Conversation Ft Pink Clove!

2nd September 2018

Hey everyone!

What on earth is this weather doing? I find myself loving life wrapped in my sherpa throw with a gingerbread chai latté (not quite the cliché PSL but still sounds quite pretentious…). Next minute I’m tearing layers off, opening the windows and downing cold water. I’ve also had the most awful pressure headache for the past week due to the horrid humidity. I’d really appreciate the temperature staying in the teens now, I am truly done with Summer.

Todays post is essentially going to be a bit of a diary entry. Just me having a bit of a chat about my journey with body confidence and dealing with others opinions. It’s something I’ve always wanted to talk about on here but part of me felt as if I had to be this incredibly confident, “bearing all” kind of person to be able to encourage loving yourself. I felt like I had to be 110% happy with myself and my appearance at all times to not be a hypocrite in offering advice on it. There’s also the issue of being called vain and conceited if you openly admit that you love yourself and the way you look.

On closer inspection and talking with people, I genuinely don’t think there is one person on this earth who thinks they look good all the time. There isn’t one person who is 110% confident in how they look, everything they do etc. If there was, we’d also all probably end up hating them out of jealousy. How great would it be to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and think “wow”!? Or walk into every job interview thinking you were the bees knees and about to be hired. Or that every single item of clothing looked incredible on you (although not so great on the bank balance).

I say all this, there is a huge difference between confidence and cockiness but an oh so fine line between the two. For me, confidence is brilliant, it’s so beautiful to see someone so happy in their own skin. However, someone being cocky and looking down on you is not a nice feeling, at all. Especially when the vibe you’re getting is that it’s because of something to do with physical appearance.

I’ve been a bit chunkier than the majority of girls surrounding me for as long as I can remember. I was always the fatter friend at school and I always felt like the ugly friend because of it. Everyone is so crazy about boys around that age too and I didn’t have any sort of proper experience with them until I was 17. I never really liked alcohol so I would always be the person at house parties taking photos, helping the paralytic teens into their bewildered parents cars and consoling random girls crying about god knows what. Liquid confidence was not a thing for me.

It’s such a horrible thing being unable to shake the feeling that everyone around you is superior, really trying and longing to love yourself. When you feel a heavy lack of confidence about your appearance, it really affects how you feel about yourself as a whole. I will admit, when I was in a really horrible place with my appearance and myself, seeing other people so comfortable made me sad. Wearing whatever they wanted and owning it, bagging incredible opportunities, progressing so well in life and just being happy. Something I noticed was that confident and happy people were so much more attractive for that reason, too. I truly do believe the whole “fake it ’til you make it” mentality works.

Fast forward to 22 year old Alice and I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever been more content with the way that I look. The thing is that I don’t really know why because my illness makes me look bloated all the time, my medication redistributes weight to my face and stomach and I currently probably wear makeup twice a week at the very most. I think the main reason is that I’ve come accustomed to being so judged for things out of my control during my struggles with my illness over the past year. Because of this, I’ve just kind of stopped caring about what anyone thinks of me and what I look like/what I’m doing with my life. It’s my choice and if they don’t like it, they know where the door is.

It’s quite ironic writing those sentences as I think a lot of the reason I got unwell in the first place was because I was constantly anxious about absolutely everything regarding others opinions. Being so burdened with worry of what others think of me led to being really depressed, too. Don’t get me wrong, my anxiety still very much has a hold over me and I’m a worrier by nature but I feel so much more free. For the first time in my life I’ve actually managed to cut people out who made me feel bad about myself or who only kept in contact to benefit or talk about themselves.

So here’s me, proudly rocking a size 16 outfit from Pink Clove who kindly gifted me these items. Pink Clove specialise in clothes for curvier ladies from sizes 16 – 28 and have some incredibly stylish and beautiful pieces on their site. I absolutely love these photos and how this outfit flatters my figure and I’m not afraid to say it! I’m baffled that I felt comfortable enough to leave the house in a mini skirt with no tights on, let alone actually feel confident.

Both the animal print wrap front bodysuit and the denim mini skirt retail at a brilliant £18 each on the Pink Clove site. I think it’s an absolute bargain considering the quality of them and the fact that sometimes I feel clothing brands for larger ladies take advantage and hike their prices right up. If you’re an inbetweeny or larger lady, give the Pink Clove site a visit, I guarantee you’ll find something you adore! The black boots are also from Bershka and these photos were taken by the fabulous Rebeca Elen. Please give her a follow/like on her socials here: Blog / Facebook / Instagram.

I’m due surgery in just under 3 weeks and am likely to be living with a stoma bag for the rest of my life afterwards. I’m feeling scared because I’ve only just got to this place with myself and my body where I feel happy and now it’s all going to completely change again. It’s so nice to finally feel a little lighter and not like I’m carrying so much self hate with me all the time. But on the plus side, I will hopefully no longer be in constant pain after surgery. It’s going to be such a long and huge adjustment process but lets hope it’s for the greater good!

Thanks for reading my little ramble and be sure to give Pink Clove a browse. Do you struggle a lot with your body and self confidence?

’Til next time,

47 responses to “A Body Confidence Conversation Ft Pink Clove!”

  1. What a great post. I’m glad you have found your inner confidence and are not letting others effect you. Your words have inspired me to walk out the door as the person I am and not give a poop what others think. The pink clover items are lovely and you look comfortable and fashionable in them. I shall be taking a look at their website. Have a great week.
    Kate x

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Aww aren’t you lovely, thank you so much for your kind words! You deserve to feel more than fabulous about yourself, girl! X

  2. I love this! I also always felt like the fatter friend and it did a nightmare on my self-confidence. However, much like you, I’ve been working on improving that over time and I’m slowly getting to a better place. It doesn’t matter what I think, but I think you look beautiful and I’m so proud of where you are on your journey! Good luck with the surgery, I know it will have an adjustment on your mentality when it comes to body confidence. However, you’re amazing and strong and sound like you have good people around you, you can make it through 😉

    Jas xx | https://thoughtsfromjasmine.co.uk

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      I feel that girl! I’m so glad to hear your confidence is improving too! 🙂 I appreciate that so much Jasmine, thank you hehe. And you’re right, I can make it through! I’ve got a fabulous few people around me and I’m looking forward to making some new pals in Bristol when I’m better soon 😉 x

  3. Nora Di Leo says:

    Love this so much. It’s important to talk about confidence and how to gain it. Btw. your outfit rocks, I love it!

  4. I absolutely love Pink Clove! I wear their clothes so much and they always make me feel incredible!

    Love, Amie ❤
    The Curvaceous Vegan

  5. Batool says:

    This is such an inspiring post! I am quite skinny but have big thighs and i’ve always felt uncomfortable with them, especially when people point them out but now i’m learning to love myself and i’ve never felt more happier in my own body!

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      I’m so glad you’re feeling happier in yourself!! We all have our own little niggles but I’m sure your chunky thighs are fabulous! X

  6. I had never heard of this brand before. Loving your outfit! So cool and your photo are so beautiful! The last one is so cute! I do struggle with body confidence sometimes, especially when something does not fit me or look amazing on someone else and crap on me. But I don’t focus on that too much otherwise I know I would feel super bad all the time

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Thank you so much Corinne 😊 I totally agree, it can make you feel disheartened but you are gorgeous just the way you are! X

  7. lifeofshar says:

    I have also had really bad pressure headaches! I never thought about it being because of the humidity! I can relate, I also felt so ugly at school and didn’t get any boy attention untill I was 16, whilst all my friends had multiple boyfriends. I was the same when I was younger, I used to hate seeing people wear nice clothes that I didn’t have the confidence to wear, it got me so down. Cutting people out who make you feel bad about yourself is such an amazing feeling, I love it. I also feel proud of myself for doing it because I used to take so much shit from people. I have always suffered with body self confidence. I was also told I was too skinny at school, and whilst I know that “skinny privileged” is real, it really wasn’t nice what people used to say about me and I can remember a few years ago, it was BOILING outside and strangers would say to me “I bet you are a bit hot in that coat” but I just didn’t want to get my arms out. Fast froward a few years and Ill go outside in a vest. It is amazing when you grow and you feel more self and body confident and I am so glad that we both do!I have never heard of Pink Clove until now but I LOVE the leopard print bodysuit and you look AMAZING. The outfit really goes. I am really getting into leopard print at the moment! Great post and I hope everything goes well with your surgery xx

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Ugh aren’t they the worst?! I can never get anything done with them! Thank you so much for leaving such a thoughtful comment, it’s so nice to know I’m not the only one! And as much as skinny privilege is real, skinny people can still feel extremely insecure about so many things to do with their body so I’d never be pissed off about that and people are silly if they take it personally. I will admit I used be really baffled when my skinny friends used to complain about their bodies but when I used to be a little larger, I always used to be like “oh if I get to this weight I’ll be 100% happy” and now I am, I’m not 100% happy and I don’t think I’ll ever be but that’s okay and it’s so important to realise that size, height, weight, anything doesn’t define your worth as a person. I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling more comfortable because you are gorgeous and you always own ALL the outfits I see you wear! Thank you ever so much for your lovely compliments and well wishes😊 Xx

  8. Alice you’re slaying that outfit!

  9. Nancy says:

    I agree with you – we all might have a point in our day that we may not think we look good. Oh man, I can totally relate to you about clothes looking great. I end up returning 1/2 of my orders as it is @__@. There’s definitely a difference between being cocky and having confidence. You can have confidence in yourself, especially without putting others down (where cockiness comes in). I’m happy that you love yourself. KEEP IT UP!

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Hehe to be fair, I do return a lot of orders anyway oops! Yes, I think a lot of beauty in my opinion comes from lifting others up. I will always love complimenting other people!! Xx

  10. Alice says:

    First of all, you’re spot on with the weather, it’s so irritating! I never know what to put on in the morning lately, I could put my huge coat on thinking it’s freezing and then be sweating by the time I get to work. You look incredible in this outfit, I’ll be honest that I’m not usually much of a leopard print fan but you’re honestly rocking it SO much. You have a gorgeous figure and I’m so glad you’re loving yourself more. I definitely find myself often at the point you mentioned where I envy other people being able to wear anything and look amazing, but I’m really trying to wear things that I feel like I CAN rock rather than focusing on what doesn’t suit me as well. So proud of how far you’ve come confidence wise, and I can’t wait for you to be able to do more of what you love after surgery x

    Alice // http://www.accordingtoalicex.com

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      But it’s okay, cos I bet ya look adorable in your big coat xo hehe thank you so much Al, I used to think it was so tacky but I actually think it really suits me nowadays! You literally look good in everything you send me and I will always tell you you’re honestly the cutest little person I’ve ever met and I can’t even believe how beaut you are in person too, I’m definitely a bit of a catfish… Yasssss bitch ima be in Birmingham all the time X

  11. sophhearts says:

    I’m so so happy to hear you saying that you’re feeling as good as you ever have about how you look because you’re GORGEOUS! You’re absolutely rocking this look and I love how honest you are. Body confidence is definitely an issue for everyone and I love that you’re promoting self-love!

    Soph – https://sophhearts.com x

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Sophie this is THE sweetest comment, thank you soo much ☺️ Self love is so, so bloody important!! Not knowing my worth has caused a whole world of problems for me throughout my life and I am so tired of it, I want to help other people feel amazing, too! X

  12. I love this outfit (self proclaimed lover of all things animal print)! And you look absolutely beautiful and are slaying it! Back when I was a shy girl, I use to pretend that I was confident. We have a saying that says, “fake it till you make it” and that’s what I did. It took a lot of looking in the mirror and finding my own beauty and less of comparing myself to what other people’s idea of beauty is. The photos are adorable!

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Hehe animal print is SO in this year and I’m loving it! That’s so sweet of you, thank you ☺️ Yes that is honestly such a good way to live at first because I feel like eventually you just think ‘fuck it’ and it becomes you. X

  13. bbbryony says:

    I really enjoyed reading this post, it was all so well written. I’m so glad you’re more confident in yourself now, by the way you look really beautiful in that outfit gal! also, good luck with your surgery, hope it all goes well x

  14. pinarrawlins says:

    I’m so done with Summer too and very grateful the temperature has dropped.
    You look beautiful in your photos! I have nerve been happy with my body but after having kids and my body changing so much I’ve learned to appreciate my body and slowly I’m building confidence. We all have our body demons and social media doesn’t help! xo

    Pinar | http://www.beautybakingbella.com

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Thank you so much! You are a bloody hero for carrying children and you should be proud of your body no matter what for being able to do such a wonderful thing ☺️ I’m so glad you’re building up confidence! X

  15. Deb's Decorative Life says:

    The black skirt with the leopard top looks very nice on you. You look very confident in that outfit.

  16. ruthinrevolt says:

    You look fantastic!! I’m so glad you’ve got to a good place with your body. I hope to be able to say the same eventually! Sending you lots of positive thoughts and love for your surgery. 💜

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Thank you, Ruth! I wish you all the best with your journey, you’re a beautiful girl! And thank you very much ☺️ x

  17. Ruth says:

    I love the outfit! You are beautiful! Being body confident is amazing! This post should inspire other women, as your attitude is amazing! 😊🌸😘

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Hehe thank you so much! It really feels so nice to be more confidence in myself. I would love to inspire at least one person, that would be such a dream ☺️ x

  18. Brandy says:

    That outfit looks great on you!

    It was a pretty weird Summer where I was too. Definitely not as hot and more mild, but we’ve had some hot weather this last month. Hit us a bit later than usual, but I can’t complain. I’m more of a Spring and Autumn fan, where it’s warm, but not unbearably hot.

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Hehe thank you! Yes I totally agree, Autumn is totally my favourite season! For the weather, fashion and food. x

  19. Alice, you are drop dead gorgeous and these photos are stunning! I applaud how you handle all the shit life has thrown at you health wise and can’t wait for you to feel healthy and not in pain anymore. I can’t imagine how it must feel, but I know you’ll come out of it looking as beautiful as you are now! I totally agree, we all have our flaws that we’re not happy with (myself included!) but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and when a person’s personality is beautiful, it shines through their face like a ray of sunshine 😘😘❤️❤️❤️

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Ummm why are you such a sweetie?! This is the most lovely comment Gaby, thank you! I pride myself on the way I deal with shit hahaha. And yes I agree so, so much!! Which is why you’re such a corker xo

  20. helloaycan says:

    This is such as beautiful post! You look absolutely stunning btw! You look amazing in your outfit, but then again, you always do. It’s a strange thing with me, we have like the opposite sort of stories. I was so confident while as I was a teenager and have zero confidence now. I’ve been working on trying to improve that mentality, but it’s little steps.

    Good luck with your surgey and the journey to getting better.

    Aycan // http://www.littlewhitesocks.com

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Aww thank you Aycan, you lovely thing! It does take a while, it has taken me years if I’m honest but something finally clicked when I realised that my body is for supporting me to do fabulous things in life and not for other people to take pleasure in! I wish you lots of luck in your self-love journey! Thank you ☺️ X

  21. I whole heartedly feel like body confidence is something they should teach at school, and from a young age. Because you’re right, confidence is beauiful and we all need to learn to love ourselves. There is nothing conceited about that.

    Absolutely loving this outfit! Animal print I think is super flattering on all body shapes, and you are absolutely rocking this look!

    Good luck with your surgery! I’m sure it will all be fine and you’ll accept your changes with open arms. It’s an unfortunate price to pay when you weren’t expecting it, but if it gets you out of pain you will be all the better for it!

    Sending you all the love and good vibes! xx

    Laura ✰ laurahasablog.co.uk

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Oh gosh, I totally agree! WE NEED MORE DIVERSITY SPREAD AROUND. People grow up seeing the same figures and sizes and then get depressed when they don’t develop into it! Thank you so much Laura, I really appreciate your kind words ☺️ I really do hope so, I think eventually I’ll be fine but it’ll definitely be a learning curve! Xx

  22. charlotteannelane103 says:

    Aw Alice you look absolutely incredible! I adore this outfit on you! You’re such a beautiful person, inside and out and I’m so glad to call you a friend 🙂 I definitely agree with what you mean about confidence, I love seeing others confident and comfortable in their own skin – it does make me a little jealous though as I’m not currently comfortable in my own skin at all. It makes it harder when people look at me go ‘you don’t need to do Personal Training, what are you doing that for?!’ ‘you don’t need to worry about your shape, you’re skinny!’.. Cos everyone is allowed to feel uncomfortable, no matter what size they are – we all have things we dislike about ourselves. Sending you lots of love girl xo

    Char | http://www.charslittleblog.co.uk

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Hehe thank you Char, this comment really made me smile ☺️ I’m so happy to call you a friend too and I can’t wait to get to know you better! I’m so sorry you’re not currently comfortable with yourself but I have no doubt that eventually you will be and you’ll see just how fabulous you are! And I totally agree, every person has their own insecurities! Xx

  23. meg says:

    I’m glad that you’re feeling more content now!
    I’m the same, I think as you get older (maybe a bit wiser) and are in a solid, loving relationship you start to accept yourself more.
    You’re a beautiful person inside & out Alice, I can tell that without even having met you face to face! Xxx

    • blacktulipbeauty says:

      Thanks Meg ☺️ it feels so good! That’s such a lovely compliment, I appreciate your lovely words so much! ❤️ Xx

  24. LifeOFLuce says:

    I’m loving leopard print this season too! You look amazing!

    Luce xo | http://www.lifeofluce.com

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