I’m writing this post sat in hospital having my first infusion of Infliximab (otherwise known as Remicade) which is a biological treatment for Inflammatory Bowel Disease. I got diagnosed with this in April 2017 and Infliximab will be the 5th treatment I am trialling to get myself into remission so I can hopefully live as close to a normal life as possible.
I’ve tried my absolute best to stay positive throughout this new path my life has decided to take so I thought I’d write about the things I’m really looking forward to doing when I eventually am in a state where I don’t have any symptoms of the disease anymore. Whether that be from medication or surgery I don’t know but I know I’ll get there somehow. Remission is hopefully coming soon. Here are a few things I’ll be super happy to do again…
I’ve never been much of a drinker or a major party girl but I do really miss the occasional night out with my friends. It’s been over a year since I’ve been well enough in any shape or form to go out or have more than 2 drinks. I miss getting dressed up and dancing to cheesy music with my best pals, feeling carefree for a night and like I am infact 21 and not 40 odd. Spending my days in bed, taking daily medication to keep my body moderately stable and feeling a heavy responsibility that every single thing I do/eat/drink could mess with my health doesn’t exactly scream “early 20’s and living my best life”, does it?
The most intense exercise I’ve been able to do since being ill is walking my dog up a hill. I really miss the gym and working out. Even though I’ve always been pretty curvy I do actually enjoy exercise and was quite fit and healthy before being diagnosed. With my issues being all around my abdominal area, I can’t really do any sort of exercise around that area without causing myself more pain or triggering my illness. So it’s safe to say remission has me excited to get back to being able to work out.
I HATE HOSPITALS. I mean for real, who likes them? But man am I excited to spend less time at them. I’m quite a fussy hygienic person and I know hospitals are meant to be super clean but I’m still very skeptical about all the germs and bugs around. The fact that I’m on immunosuppressants makes it worse too as it’s so much easier for me to pick illnesses up. I also have a phobia of vomit so I’d like to stay away from any cases of that as much as possible.
The past year has been a super tough one but they do say every cloud has a silver lining. Jake and I are closer and stronger than ever and we will be celebrating half a decade as a couple this year. I’m so damn excited to take the next steps in our relationship as so much of it has been put on hold due to my illness. Moving in together is something we’ve been wanting for a long time and as soon as I get into remission and we can both start saving for it, it is happening. I’m also really looking forward to travelling more and seeing the world together. I’m just generally really happy and cannot wait to see what our future holds as a couple.
There you have it. Obviously there are many more things I am looking forward to, big and small (including getting more tattoos but shh). These are my top ones for now though. They might sound really simple and it’s because they are. I’m honestly mostly just looking forward to hopefully becoming a normal, functioning human being again. I couldn’t ask for anything more right now than to live a normal life. If you enjoy posts like this/about my illness please let me know as I always wonder whether people find them boring or interesting.